Rage...

Redneck ATV Transport...

Redneck Auto AC...

Redneck Auto Body Work...

Redneck Auto Security System...

Redneck Birthday Cake...

Redneck Camaro 4x4...

Redneck Duct Tape Window Repair...

Redneck High-Rise...

Redneck Letter...

Dearest Redneck Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.  We don't live where we did when you left home.  Your Dad read in the Newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.  I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.  This place is really nice.  It even has a washing machine.  I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain.  We haven't seen them since.  The weather isn't bad here.  It only rained twice last week;  the first time for three days and the second time for four days.  About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.  Bubba locked his keys in  the car yesterday.  We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.  Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.  The baby looks just like your brother.  Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week.   Some men tried to pull hum out but he fought them off and drowned.  We had him cremated........he burned for four days.  Three of your friends went  off a bridge in a pickup truck.  Butch was driving.  He rolled down the window and swam to safety.  Your other two friends were in the back.  The drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.  There isn't much more news at this time.  Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your favorite Aunt,
Mom

Redneck Mobile Home...

Redneck Mullet Family Portrait...

Redneck NASCAR Fan...

Redneck Riding Lawn Mower...

Redneck Roadside Auto Repair...

Rednecks On A Saturday Night...

Rodney Dangerfield...

"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighborhood!"

"Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide.' He told me to pay in advance."

"One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh."

"Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H."

"Oh, when I was a kid I was poor. We were so poor, when my father died, they asked my mother, 'Paper or plastic?' "

"My uncle's dying wish, he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."

"I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel."

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor, so they sent a priest to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."

"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."

"I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War, my great uncle fought for the West."

"I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin."

"I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend."

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

Rude-Off...

Save The Whale...

Snow Hoodz...

Stray Bar...

Surfer Meets Shark...

Sympathy Card...

This page was last updated on 11/26/06.

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